Friday, November 9, 2012

the princess dilemma is not a dilemma

i recently read a blog about a mom who refused to give into the "princess" factor for her daughter(s). she wrote about the need to teach her daughter that she did not need rescued and the mixed messages of femininity that princess movies often convey.
statements such as these make me want to lose control of my tongue (and cat claws) momentarily.
where did this group of women come from?? those who deem marriage unnecessary and the shaving of one's armpits and legs irrelevant?
i almost always want to ask what happened in their childhood that made them so against embracing the fun of being a girl.
anyone who knows me well, knows that i love glitter. i love pink fluffy dresses, i love barbie, and high heels.
you dont have to love (or even like) this stuff to be a girl...but it is quite different to dislike glitter for its defiance to never leave once released and to dislike it because it embodies everything evil that makes women the inferior sex.
i once had someone argue that God made Eve from Adam's rib so that we would be equal and then turn around and argue for same sex marriage while continuing to argue that marriage wasnt necessary- that you could simply have a "partner". i couldnt even continue the conversation. i wanted to make a sign to staple to her forehead "walking contradiction."
-just sharing a moment with you- now, stepping away from all biblical aspects of this...

i fully believe a woman's place is in the home. i think it's cool if you can work and be a mom. i've done it. i didnt personally like it as much as i enjoy the never ending thankless job of being a stay at home mom, though. at least here, when i dont hear a thank you or a "job well done", i do know that i am loved and am more than likely not gossipped about by my 15 month old.

i also fully believe in shaving your armpits and legs. if you dont, then please dont tell me about it and dont raise your arm near my face or brush your leg passed mine on a rare day when i wear a skirt or shorts. it makes me shiver just thinking about it.

i 100%-dont try to argue with me- hands down- believe in gender roles. i believe there are some jobs out there that are better left to men. i believe in barbie dolls for girls, and trucks and action figures for boys. i dont like gender nuetral although i see its benefits with multiple children. but dont get upset with me when you bring your infant, wrapped in some gender nuetral blanket, name Pat to visit me and i ask if it's a boy or a girl. give me a CLUE.

i love gigantic oversized bows on baby girl's head. how cute!! (and how obvious!) i love little suits with a tie and a derby for little boys. how adorable!

i refuse to raise my child to be confused about what or who she or he is.

that being said, i dont mind tom-boys. i have one in my house. i dont mind a guy who can show his emotions (just dont get too weepy on me).

i have a true 1950s mentality that i embrace and love. it's cut and dry. there is no "grey" area.

now, back to the blog i read:
why deny your daughter the chance to read about princesses being rescued? it's a fictional story. it's a fantasy. it's whimsical. and while i personally HATE most cartoons, i would never not let my kids watch cinderella or sleeping beauty because it might ruin their psyche. give me a break. cartoons and (most) princess stories are pretend! PRETEND. if you want to give your daughter a bone to chew on, teach her the difference between reality/nonfiction vs. pretend/fiction. dont deny her the chance to embrace her innate ability to love the color pink and big gigantic poofy dresses.

i will admit that not all girls love pink...but give her the chance at least. jeez.  i've met very few girls in my lifetime that didnt, at some point in time, love dolls.

it makes me insane when someone announces "gender neutral" everything, but then tries to shape their kids into what they, as parents, now are.

lily is a girl. she LOVES fancy dresses. she loves princess stories...but you know what? she also loves to get dirty, work on things with tools, and roughouse in the backyard. she's a girl, through and through...but she knows how to be tough, stand up for herself, and take charge of a situation. she also sees her dad as her hero. she likes to talk about prince charming and sees painting her nails as a real treat.

i personally like the glorification of the 1950s. i love the clothes, the bathing suits, the way teenagers (for the most part) called adults sirs and mams. i LOVED the music. i love that most homes werent broken and moms stayed at home (because they could if they wanted to). i love that dinner, then, was at the table. i love that the phone was a landline- and that was IT. i loved that tv was a treat and NOT a necessity. i also love that tv was censored much more strictly than it is now.

i dont know what triggered the extreme part of the 60s. the burning of draft cards and bras...but to me, the 50s seemed to look so innocent...

dont bother telling me about terrible things that happened in the 50s. i do know some history, i know of the horrible parts of the 50s as well.
but things are much different now in terms of standards and morals. marriage to the majority is now a joke or deemed unnecessary. princess stories gave you a fantasy story about love and overcoming bad. it showed you a girl who came from nothing and became a beautiful princess with the help of her friends. what's wrong with that?

as a girl, why not let a guy who offers pay for dinner? why not let a gentleman open the door for you...hold your umbrella in the rain...take your hand as you step out of the car?
because you can do it yourself? so what? the guy is being NICE! allow that. embrace that your are a girl and therefore get an invisible card that basically means if you are ever carrying heavy things, typically, a gentleman will say, "here, allow me to carry that for you." which you should answer, "why, thank you! how nice!"
it's not difficult. (and it's less work for you. take a break!)

i may be wrong in the way i am raising my children, but i make sure the bible is a part of their lives, daily...and everything else, is lead by my heart.

in conclusion, i say this: if life gives you the opportunity to be treated as a princess by a real life prince charming, don't be so caught up in the song and dance of "anything you can do, i can do better..."
embrace your inner girl...throw on some glitter...and do the princess wave as you ride off into the sunset. :)