i've just read this article entitled "how to talk to little girls" and now i'm just angry with society.
the article talks about how we shouldnt start a conversation with a little girl by telling her how darn cute she is. apparently, telling her she's adorable will set her up for eating disorders, an overwhelming urge to get plastic surgery, and a general overall bad feeling about themselves....all because you noticed she was pretty.
the article also talks about how nearly 50% of 3-6 years old worry about being fat. mascara and lip stick are being worn on a regular basis before the age of 12.
see, i was under the impression that as a parent of little girls...i would set the standard for beauty.
i was also under the impression that since these kids aren't even teenagers, I would most certainly have a say so over when and where my girls can and will (if EVER, at these ages) wear make up.
i was unaware that telling my girls i think they're flipping adorable would cause harm and i'm basically killing their self worth with every compliment i give.
i really loath articles that tell me how i should talk to my children. it makes me angry when a writer tries to scare me with statistics and warnings of what my children will turn into if i dont heed their warnings right now.
my children are NOT statistics. you learn to not be a statistic when you're facing down illnesses (that statistically don't give you long to live) every day. dont base your future off numbers based off studies controlled by people who dont.know.your.life.
i've taught my children that beauty is everywhere because everything and everyone is made by God. if God made it, it IS beautiful. i've taught them to never EVER make fun of someone for their looks. looks are unique and only a small part of what makes someone special.
lily learned a lesson in beauty a few years ago when i used an analogy of an old building (one that i fell in love with) in pt pleasant, wv...that was torn down. i showed her pictures of it when it was in its prime, i showed her pictures of it when i was in high school and i trespassed to get those pictures and marvel at its beauty...and finally i showed her the spot where it used to stand. she almost cried. we drive by there every now and then and she comments on how empty the place seems now. i have to agree.
not everyone saw that place as beautiful and it was torn down. i told her to NEVER let someone tear her down...because..well...look at what's left behind.
lastly, if I wear make up, it's mascara. if i wear more than that, it is seriously a special occasion. every now and then, i let Lily play with my makeup. to me, it's part of being a little girl. she also will wear my heels. we laugh, we take pictures, and we have a great time.
oh, and also, my 10 year old has caught glimpses of america's next top model and YES, she wants to be on it. you know why? to make sure ALL the girls know they're beautiful, and also, she wants to win...to prove that a smart girl can win, too.
i tell my children they are gorgeous. ALL THE TIME.
i'm going to make sure when they get to that point where i'm no longer within ear shot, if some idiot says something hurtful about their looks, it will roll off them like it's NOTHING..because they'll know how beautiful they are.
because their mom told them so. because their family tells them so. because strangers tell them in grocery stores.
telling a kid they're cute is NOT harmful, lisa bloom, but telling parents to conform to society's expectations- yeah. i'd say that's tantamount to drinking the koolaid.
grow a pair of lady balls and think for yourself. define beauty for your children because if you dont, some dumb ass writer for the huffington post will gladly define it for them. who do you want your kids looking up to and believing in?
RAISE your own kids. dont bother me with your semantics.