Friday, May 31, 2013

Modesty vs. the itsy bitsy Bikini

"It is strange that modesty is the rule for women when what they most value in men is boldness."
I've thought about writing this blog for 2 days now. it's such a gray area. modesty: define it. can you? are you modest in your modesty? or are you vain about your modesty? how many "self portrait" pictures do you have floating around your phone, facebook, instagram, and whatever else you have for socializing?
when you're getting ready to walk out the door, do you look yourself over in the mirror? if someone walks in, and says, hey let's go- do you immediately panic because your hair isn't done, you're not dressed, and you've no make up on?
still think you're modest?
I know i'm not. i'm not saying that as a vain statement, i'm just stating the truth. i'm not modest. but i'm not modest in different ways than you think. I DONT wear make up. at all. my hair is short, so "fixing it" takes all of five minutes. and being dressed is well...defined for me as a tank and a pair of jeans or yoga-ish pants. but modesty did pass me by. when you breast feed, modesty kind of flies out the window...especially about that 5 month mark when your child is way more interested in everything else while they're eating and a blanket is just unacceptable to them. eventually, someone gets flashed and while that thought used to mortify me, now...not so much.
this is the area that I speak of. women who fight for breast feeding rights where ever they may be- they fight for the idea that breasts are not and should not be sexualized. they have a purpose....
but then, we speak of modesty and suddenly a bikini is wrong and (let's take it extreme here) we should just wear moomoos everywhere so as not to cause "temptation".
that's right. I read an article that spoke of choosing not to wear a bikini so as not to tempt our brothers in Christ.
sorry, but i'm not buying it. if a man is looking to be tempted...if a man is already in that state of mind, it doesn't take a bikini to get a man looking. he was looking long before then. and if you are truly worried about temptation, then maybe we should shut down the internet for men and stop magazines, too. for temptation is everywhere. sex sells...and it sells well.
and why draw a line at one piece suits as acceptable. really...the only difference is your tummy showing or not. you are still showing an awful lot of tempting skin. where do you draw the line with modesty? is it then, okay for a man to bare his chest? honestly, where does one draw the line clearly? are shorts okay? tank tops? what about covering your hair? i'm not being sarcastic here, though you may not know it.
i *think* the Bible talks about your hair being the glory of God.
modesty is a hard word to define.
I have worn a bikini since forever. I have a short torso; have you ever tried to find a bathing suit with a short torso and a unique body type? one that fits a extra small to small bottom and an large to extra large top? not quite as easy as the writer implies. in fact, i'm still looking, as I, too, LOVE the 50s style suits but I look like a child playing dress up when I try one on. it's comical really. the crotch of the suit will sometimes hang to my knees. so it's another reason I stick with the bikinis.
do I get looked at in a bikini? I've no idea. i'm not looking to be seen. I don't go anywhere to be seen. I am, however, looking to get a tan as the days of casually going to a tanning bed are long gone. I miss that warming of my joints. it did wonders for sore muscles! and my days are spent outside chasing after 2 children, while carrying a 3rd..and you know what? i'd like to get some sun while i'm out there. i'd also like to teach my daughter a healthy body image...while also teaching her that what other people think doesn't matter. (something I struggled deeply with growing up.)
did you know we don't own a scale in this home? I wont. it causes panic and stress and I don't really care where i'm at on a scale anymore. i'm happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for more.
the other writer, she made good points. some of which I agree with but I wont adhere to. she also posted pictures of herself looking flirty in her suit, which you can see here, I haven't done. (maybe some day..but not today)
I finally like my body. I enjoy bikinis and wearing them makes me feel a little better about myself. I wear them frequently around my house (no air conditioning makes for one warm home). we honestly don't go to public places where bathing suits are least not for the last 2 years. maybe this year will be different...but I wont be. bikinis have been around since bikini island...and you wont catch me "covering up" in 90+ degree heat and risking heat exhaustion or heat stroke.
so wear what you will. my idea is that your behavior speak volumes about you, rather than the clothes. I should know. I used to wear all black and I KNOW how I was treated then..until someone got to know me.
what really bugs me were more the comments under the article. lots of judging...lots of hating. women are a lot like cats. eventually the claws come out.
you cant very well call yourself modest and then gloat about what you wear or choose not to wear. just be yourself, worry about yourself. get yourself right with God. stop picking at the piece in my eye, and worry about your own...
besides that, I don't like people trying to touch my face.

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